Home > 2009 Movie Reviews > Splice Review

Splice Review

My rating 1.5 Stars
I have no words, no words to express how much Splice sucked! You know how much it would suck to get audited by the IRS five years in a row; well this movie sucked a lot more than that ever would. This movie must have been some kind of cruel joke played on the actors. It must have been. It is very obvious that the director hated the actors and made them shoot this movie at gun point, perhaps even held their family for ransom or something. I cannot imagine that any actor would read this script and think this would make a good movie.

I can appreciate that in theory, the idea of this movie sounds interesting. And it could have probably been a good movie, but whomever wrote the script botched it bad! First of all, there was no character continuity anywhere present in the movie. One minute Elsa is a good caring mother who will do anything for her “child” and the next she’s the Nazi mother from hell ready to mutilate the creature. The same goes with all of the characters in this movie. It’s like whoever wrote the script went through countless mood swings as they wrote it.

And the story…Jesus Christ, the story was so stupid! The movie starts out weak and manages to get weaker, if that is even possible. It went from bad to really bad to God awful! I kept hoping it would pick up because I was in it for the long run, but it just never did. I hated this movie! Thank God it’s over! I hope to never see this piece of shit ever again! I need an Advil!

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