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Archive for November, 2010

The Last Station Review

November 24, 2010 Leave a comment

My rating 5 Stars
The Last Station was wonderful. What a movie! From the moment it starts it grips you firmly and never lets you go until moments after the credits have come and gone. The film is an emotional rollercoaster with flawless acting, great writing and a true emotionally charged story that I loved from start to finish!

Ironically, I wasn’t exactly looking forward to this film. If you have been following my reviews you know that I am not a big admirer of period films. I also had heard some negative reviews from other critics. The film was also one of those considered for best picture for the 2010 Academy Awards, but if you follow the Oscars you’d know that the movie wasn’t nominated for many Oscars other than Christopher Plummer’s performance which was superb! So because of the Academy overlooking this film it made me pre-judge it which is something that I really need to stop doing.

Every single actor in the film was outstanding, but I especially loved the performances by both Helen Mirren and Christopher, especially when they interacted with one another. Their relationship, their interesting relationship came through loud clearly through their performance, their words and their demeanor and I loved every single moment they were on screen. There was no doubt in my mind that they loved each other and there was no doubt in my mind that they couldn’t stand each other. I know those two are incredible actors, but this performance was just exceptional even for them. It made me wonder what the Academy was smoking by nominating neither Helen nor Paul Giamatti who was also fabulous in his role.

The Last Station is one of those movies was a real pleasure to watch, especially if you enjoy great acting. It is 2009’s Doubt in my opinion in every possible sense; it is truly an amazing film!

Sherlock Holmes Review

November 22, 2010 Leave a comment

My rating 2.5 Stars

I know little of the Sherlock Holmes story and the little I do know comes from brief reenactments of the crew of the starship Enterprise from the TV show Star Trek: The Next Generation. I know, I know, that is pretty pathetic, but I never claimed to have been well read. I also have never really been interested in such things like: period criminal investigations. I guess my problem is that I like technology and the primitive methods used to solve crimes back in the days really turn me off. However, as I age and grow tired of the same old drama day in and day out I have developed a thirst for something different. Perhaps in time I will find an interest in the story of Sherlock Holmes, I just won’t hold my breath!

So not knowing much of the character, I wasn’t sure what to expect from the Sherlock Holmes movie. I have to be honest and I must confess that the portrayal of Holmes in the Star Trek series didn’t leave me with much desire to get to know the character. I had hoped that the character in the movie be more to my liking; it wasn’t. I hope to God that the character that Sir Arthur Conan Doyle created in his writings is nowhere near as boring as the one played by Robert Downey. That’s right, the character of Holmes as portrayed in this movie was as interesting and as exciting as drying cement. I’ve always been a fan of Mr. Downey; I think he is a great and talented actor, however something tells me that maybe he wasn’t the right choice for this role; either that or the screenwriter didn’t do the part justice. I found this Holmes to be two dimensional, dull and predictable and since the movie was all about Sherlock Holmes it took me right out of the movie.

Or maybe, just maybe, the real problem falls on the character of Sherlock Holmes who doesn’t really lend itself to the idea of a good character. Seriously, what is so special about a man who knows everything? What is so special about a person who has all of the answers? Where is the conflict? Where is the mystery? There is none, because we all know that Sherlock Holmes holds the answer. He has the mystery solved before it has a chance to take hold in the audiences mind. While this idea may have been incredibly exotic to the 1880’s audience, I am afraid that with today’s audience we have realized that such concepts are preposterous, unrealistic and boring. In my opinion that sort of nonsense are the makings of children stories or comic books like Superman or any other host of perfect superheroes. A story where there is no chance for the hero to fail is no story at all. It isn’t interesting and it’s not worth seeing. As people often say, “Nobody likes a smart ass!”

However, the film did have some good moments. It is undeniably that it was beautifully shot. It was very artistic and beautiful and enchanting. Unfortunately, like staring at a well painted wall after a few minutes of looking at, you realize that it’s just a wall and it will do nothing for you. So your obvious reaction is to walk away and put the wall behind you never to think about it again; just like this film. While it looks stunning it does absolutely nothing to keep your interests and therefore it’s forgettable and nothing to write home about.

Armored Review

November 15, 2010 Leave a comment

My rating 2 Stars
I was bored this morning so I decided to stream this movie for the hell of it. How bad could it be? Well, it wasn’t horrible, but it didn’t do much to help my being bored. This movie did absolutely nothing for me. It was predictable, not all that exciting and a very, very cheesy to be honest with you.

Look, I wasn’t looking for an Academy Award performance here. I wasn’t looking for huge explosions or a life changing story. I was just looking for a fun movie and I didn’t find it here. The story was weak, the car sequences were boring, the action was really slow. Hell, nothing happened in this movie. They could’ve have done it in less than 30 minutes and it would’ve been just as boring.

The big master plan involved spending 30 minutes—which they managed to stretch for 40 minutes—trying to break into an armored truck by hammering off the pegs that held the door hinges together. Which made me question just how realistic this was? And why did that take them so long to remove? If those pegs were so tight in there, would the door even swing open? And if nothing is holding those pegs up other than friction wouldn’t they eventually fall out with all of the bumps and pot holes the truck goes over?

This movie was just plain stupid. The characters were flat and very uninteresting just like the story. There is not much going for this movie so I can’t recommend it to anybody. If you really want to see it, do it at your own risk.

 

Old Dogs Review

November 12, 2010 Leave a comment

My rating 1.5 Stars
Old Dogs was beyond awful. It broke new levels of awful for me. Seriously, did these actors even read the script before committing to this movie? Do they just not care anymore? They must not; “Just give me that pay check and let’s get this over with!” is probably the only thing on their mind.

I knew this movie was going to be bad, I just knew it. It looked bad, it had a bad title and the last few Robin William’s comedies haven’t been so great either. And the 5% rating at Rotten Tomatoes wasn’t helping it either. So the fact that this movie sucked was no surprise to me, but what was surprising was that for a moment, I thought I was going to be in for a pleasant surprise.

The movie started out really funny. There were several back to back moments that I laughed out loud. I thought, “Shit, I was all wrong! This movie is pretty darn funny!” I sat up straight and I prepared myself for a good show. Then, the laughter stopped and it wasn’t a slow decline! It was sudden! The movie went from being hysterical to no laughs at all. As if they did it on purpose and it only took 10 minutes. That’s it, ten minutes into the movie and the film made a complete 180 on me. It’s like the funny writer quit after 10 pages into the script. Probably after he realized that the story sucked and there was no way to save it!

But what a waste of universal proportions! I had to entertain myself by scratching dander out of my own head. I even found myself eyeing Glenn Becks website and actually thought it looked good. Both Williams and Travolta have made some real shitty movies in the past, but boy does this top the cake for both actors. They should both be ashamed of this borefest!

BTW, I got the funny feeling that the movie was first conceived as a gay couple who had been stuck with these two kids. I wonder if Hollywood thought that was too much and made the writers change the idea. There were so many “jokes” in the movie that after thinking about it, would have worked perfectly if the two had been a gay couple, but as straight business partners the jokes fell flat. Or maybe it was just the really bad writing. That reminds me if you want to see a movie purely for the bad writing, this is it! This movie has it all: bad writing, bad editing, and bad comedy. It is just plain awful!

Planet 51 Review

November 10, 2010 Leave a comment

My rating 3.5 Stars
Okay, Planet 51 wasn’t bad; Thank God! I won’t go as far as to tell you to go out right now, rent it and watch it, but, if you have children, this is a cute movie to watch with them. The kids will love it and you might too. There were a few subtle jokes thrown in strictly for the adults. I’m a sure that the makers of this film didn’t want to piss off the parents for making them watch another pointless child movie. I thought they did a good job with that.

The movie borrowed a lot of stereotypes from the 1950’s. After all they jokingly set the story in that era. The 50’s being the birth of the alien fears here on Earth: Area 51, UFO sightings, sci-fi movies, etc. It is also the birth era of other fears that some of us still hold true: the communists, Rock and Roll, protesters, etc. The film is very innocent; after all it is a kid’s movie. But I liked how they took that innocence to a new level. It is innocent, but remember that the 1950’s innocence was on the verge of awakening and realizing that life wasn’t as simple as black and white. The film is quite good that way. And it is a good kid’s story, but it might also spark some good moral thoughts in young minds.

Subsequently, this movie also borrows so many different elements from other films, current affairs of both 1950’s and today, pop culture, music and any other forms of art. I really dug this. It was fun to pick out all of the different references. The film is filled with Easter eggs (or cookies as a friend of mine likes to call them) just waiting to be found. That was just one more considerate thing the movie producers did for the adults. It almost makes the movie a semi-interactive experience and I give the filmmakers a lot of credit for it and I thank them for that.

This is a nice little film. I’m glad that it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. I loved the animation and the humor and I loved finding all of the different Easter eggs. Not a bad way to spend an hour and a half. I’d say if you have to watch this movie, don’t worry you won’t be bored to tears.

Broken Embraces Review Basura Apestosa!

November 10, 2010 Leave a comment

The following review was written under the influence of a powerful narcotic. Read at your own risk.

My rating 1 Stars
This movie is shit! I don’t understand why people love Almodóvar’s movies so much. The man is half a step away from being a bad pornographer producer. His stories are the most ridiculous stories I have ever seen shot on film and Broken Embraces is no exception. So what is the fascination? Is it because he’s Spanish and people fall for that stupid Spanish accent? Is it because it’s a foreign film and just because it’s foreign is must be good? Bull Shit! This movie belongs in a trash compactor somewhere along with the Republican Pledge to America.

I couldn’t even finish watching it. I thought it was the most ridiculous plot line for a movie that I have ever come across. If this movie was food, I wouldn’t even eat it if I were starving to death. I wouldn’t be surprised if this movie was responsible for my recent visit to the hospital. Granted the visit was quick, but it wasn’t painless. Similar to this movie, except that the movie wasn’t quick. It was two hours way too long and excruciatingly painful to watch.

All of Almodóvar’s movies are the same cheap pornographic movie with the same stupid story recycled over and over again. There isn’t anything interesting about any of them other than the sex. People, if its sex you want to watch, there are tons of adult movies out there with much better plot lines than anything Almodóvar could ever produce.

I curse the second I put this ridiculous film in my queue. I should have never put this in my list; I should have known better. I have seen…I have tried to watch three of Almodóvar movies in the past and couldn’t get through any of them, so I don’t know what I was thinking. I must have been delirious or coerced in some way. I refuse to watch the rest. I don’t give a shit if it gets better or has a great ending. No amount of greatness will make up for such perverse bad writing!

If you’re a fan of Almodóvar then you’re going to love this piece of trash because it’s the same old Almodóvar BS. Don’t expect anything different. I hope you enjoy it! Don’t bother telling me what happens because I don’t care! He’s done!

The Lovely Bones Review

November 10, 2010 Leave a comment

My rating 4 Stars
I couldn’t help myself. I know that The Lovely Bones wasn’t anywhere near being next in my queue but after looking at what was in store for me—it just wasn’t looking good; I said screw it! The Lovely Bones came in the mail today so I watched it and damn it, I enjoyed it. I had a good feeling that I was going to like this movie even though a lot of people hated it. But to me this idea was so unique, I have never heard of anything like this movie.

Of course Stanley Tucci was incredible! What an effing A-Hole! He played that part so convincingly that I grew an undeserved hatred for the actor. I have been a fan of Tucci for a while. I know he’s a good actor, I just didn’t know that he could play a character in such a way that would make me hate the actor. Because part of me thinks that to be able to successfully play this part he had to become that horrible monster…that, that…thing! All I wanted to do was reach into the screen, grab him, shake him and cry out, “Why, why?” This role couldn’t have been easy for him to do. Like the role of Mo’Nique in precious, Tucci brought the devil right to my monitor screen and I despised him for it. Well done sir!

I don’t care what the critics think on this one. They are dead wrong. This is a really good movie. It is what movies should be and Peter Jackson did an amazing job directing it. This movie wasn’t about a 14 year old getting raped and killed. They never even showed you that. The movie was about how the murder affected her entire family. How they were affected, torn and broken up. And I thought this was done almost to perfection.

Unfortunately there were a couple of things that bugged me about the film. There was one scene that I didn’t think should have been part of the movie. Maybe this was what other critics didn’t like. I thought it took away from the story. I didn’t even understand why it was there to begin with and it almost lost me completely. Thankfully, the ending more than made up for it. But for a minute, it did look like a really bad fumble and I thought I was going to be left extremely disappointed. Thank God, I was wrong.

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