Archive for April, 2010

Bruno Review


Bruno was just way over the top. While there was an innocence to Borat, Bruno was just an asshole.

My rating 2 Stars

Two men engage in what can only be described as vile, disgusting, and revolting acts. As both men strip naked, one bends over while the other inserts a fire extinguisher up the fart box of the other and pulls the trigger. The man’s corn hole begins to leak out and spray fire retardant foam all over the place and back at the other man. If I haven’t lost you yet, I wonder, do you find that humorous? Maybe if you saw it you would think differently.

How about if I told you that over ninety nine point nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine (deep breath) nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine (deep breath) nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine (deep breath) nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine (deep breath) of normal decent human beings would not find that or these repeating nines very funny? The fire extinguisher thing is disgusting and repulsive and the repeating nines are just fucking annoying! So why in the flipping cup do people find Sasha Baron Cohen so entertaining? I don’t get it!

I first heard of him when I watched Borat and I’ll admit, I thought Borat was hysterical. I thought that was an interesting concept; it was fresh and very creative. Like many people, I thought Sasha was pure genius and I wanted more. I immediately went on the Comedy Networks OnDemand channel (at least, I think that’s where it was. I could be wrong!) and downloaded my first episode of the Ali G. Show. After only three minutes of pure drivel I realized that this dirt bag is not only an idiot, but he’s not funny at all! Sasha relies on the mean spirited side of humans to get a laugh. He uses people, humiliates them, and embarrasses them all for the sake of his idea of entertainment. It’s one thing to poke fun of stupid people, that’s what they are there for. However, when one goes out of their way to purposely demean and be cruel to people, that might be stepping over the line between funny and being an asshole.

I am not a prude. I don’t mind a good practical joke. They can be very funny. However, Sasha takes things too far. Packing a stadium with gay hating rednecks with the promise of cheep beer and entertainment only to show them two men making out is not my idea of good comedy. In fact it is irresponsible and thoughtless. People could have gotten hurt, killed or worse, sued! I wonder, would you laugh if someone were to push an old lady into a swimming pool and leave her to drown? If you think that is funny then you’ll find this movie hysterical.

This movie was made in the similar spirit to Borat; however, I thought it was way over the top. There was a certain innocence to Borat, he was new to the country and people were more than willing to help him. Sasha just pointed out the ignorance of people’s knowledge of foreigners. Borat was an attempt to show how ignorant American’s can be to other cultures. Bruno on the other hand was just a jerk and there is nothing funny about jerks! Bruno was about humiliating people shamelessly without any real reason.

In the entire Bruno film there was only one scene that was really in the spirit of Borat. Bruno was holding auditions for a baby photo shoot. He met the babies and their parents and held one on one interviews with the parents asking them questions like, “Is your child comfortable working with pets? Are they allergic to anything?” They never showed most of the parents so we’ll never know from watching the movie the responses from perhaps normal people. Instead they focused on these two individuals who would do just about anything for their child to get the part in the photo shoot. And when I mean anything, I mean ANYTHING. Bruno asked the parents if their child had issues with bees, being crucified, losing weight, each request got more and more ridiculous and outrageous and what is more remarkable was that the parent of these two children all agreed to do each one of these ridiculous and outrageous things.

If Bruno had focused on that instead of some of the other stuff they did in the movie this would have been a much better film. No, instead they focused on pulling inappropriate pranks on people, hounding celebrities and enraging homophobes.


I Love You, Beth Cooper Review

I Love You, Beth Cooper

I Love You, Beth Cooper was hated by both critics and viewers alike. I think the movie was a bit misunderstood. This movie is not a teens movie, instead it is a fantasy movie for the 30 something nerds and geeks.

My rating 2.5 Stars

For my project, I toyed with the idea of putting I Love You, Beth Cooper straight into my do-not-watch list, but I didn’t and do you know why? (Of course you don’t! Why do people always ask that stupid question—as if people could read minds! Sometimes the idiot that’s being asked the question responds with a purely speculative answer which can at times come across as insulting and then the person asking the question gets all, “WHAT? NO! Why would you think that?” Why are people so odd? Oh, sorry!) I’ll tell you the real reason why I watched it. I saw it because practically every critic hated it! The viewers weren’t big fans either. The movie ended up losing money! That means that people also hated this movie. Yes, every single person on Earth watched this movie and vowed to flambé the writers. Tough crowd!

Joining I Love You, Beth Cooper in the category of bad movies in 2009 were New Moon and Bride Wars. However, unlike Beth Cooper, New Moon received minimal acclaim from respected critics and Bride Wars had success at the box office in spite of its terrible reviews by both critics and viewers. Beth Cooper had the “honor” of being the standard to which all bad movies in 2009 were compared. Every time I would read a review about a bad movie, they always said the same thing, “At least it wasn’t as bad as Beth Cooper.” Because Beth Cooper was universally hated and reviled unlike the other two, I had to see the worst of the worst and witness it for myself and guess what? It wasn’t all that bad.

I still consider Miss March to be the worst movie of 2009 and I’ve seen a host of really bad movies. Some even come close to Miss March. Beth Cooper can’t hold a candle to Miss March when it comes to bad film. That doesn’t mean that I love it, but the moniker of worst movie of the year it did not deserve. In fact, I’ll even go as far as to say that I enjoyed a lot of the movie. I wouldn’t shout it out to the world or sky-write it—does a blog count? The fact is there were some very funny parts and some nice moments to the film. I wouldn’t say that it’s for everybody, but then who is it for?

I found pin pointing an audience for this movie rather difficult. On its surface it looked like an ordinary movie for teens, but was it really? Yes, there were graduating high school students involved, there was illegal drinking going on, some house parties, some sexual themes, some fights, name calling, bullies, blah, blah, blah… However, here’s my point, if this were a teen movie, then why did the teens hate it so much?

Chris Columbus was the director of this movie and is one of the most brilliant directors of all time. In fact, I’m willing to bet that of all of your favorite movies, at least one of them was directed by Chris. He directed great movies like Gremlins, The Goonies, Adventures in Babysitting, Home Alone, the first two Harry Potter movies, I can’t see him making a kids movie and then having the kids hate it. I mean, let’s face it, the man is a genius and he knows his audience. I don’t think this movie was for teens, but I think I may have an idea who the audience was.

I am willing to bet dollars to pesos that this movie was made for the nerdy 30-40 year old. I consider myself a geek. I wouldn’t go as far as to say I am a nerd. Oh, who am I kidding? I probably am a nerd! That must explain why I enjoyed this movie and it also proves my point that the audience for this movie was the adult nerds who would just love to go back in time and have one more shot at the jocks and the cool crowd. We would probably mess it up yet again. Once a nerd, always a nerd!

I don’t recommend many people watch I Love You, Beth Cooper, unless you fall in that small category that I just explained. However, no matter how bad this movie was for the rest of the world I have to give some recognition to the casting directors of this movie. They picked actors that looked and fit the parts they were playing instead of conforming to some sort of stereotypical nerd, jock or goddess. The nerds were just regular guys and the girls were cute, diverse, of normal intelligence and most importantly they were non-sticks. I admired that throughout the whole movie. In my opinion that was very well done. Of course if that is the best I can come up with for the good quality of the movie, you can imagine just how bad this movie really was, unless you’re a 35 year old geek or nerd like me!

A Serious Man Review

A Serious Man

A Serious Man, while this was a very well written and directed movie, with a few hysterical scenes, overall, I found it a little drab and boring.

My reason 3.5 Stars

The Hudsucker Proxy, Fargo, No Country For Old Men, and Burn After Reading what do these movies have in common? If you’re a film buff you will know the answer without even thinking about it. However, if you’re not a film buff, you may have trouble seeing the similarities. Why?  Because there aren’t any similarities between these movies, they are all very different films. What they do have in common is that they were all written and directed by the Coen Brothers. These movies have one more thing in common; they are among some of my favorite movies of all time.

Does this mean that anything the Coen Brothers make is good? It all depends on who you ask. While I certainly respect them as filmmakers and writers, I have not enjoyed every single movie they have produced. The Coen Brothers are the type of filmmakers that make movies because they love it and it shows in their work and their films have stood the test of time.

The Coen brothers have also produced movies like Raising Arizona, The Big Lobowski, Oh Brother Where Art Thou and many more. I have not seen Oh Brother, but I did see the other two and I did not care much for them. I know that these movies have a huge cult following. That is the charm of these two talented directors. They manage to find a huge audience with any movie they make and that is something that very few filmmakers in Hollywood can claim.

This poses a curious problem for me. How do you recommend a movie that you didn’t like? Just because I didn’t like the movie, it doesn’t make it a bad one. People often make that distinction and it is an incorrect one. We can hate a movie all we want; it doesn’t make it a bad film. However, I am still left with the problem. A Serious Man is the Coen Brothers’ latest work. This film was loved by many film critics, however the average person hated the movie. What gives? How does one recommend this or critique it? The best I can do is tell you how I perceived it, but I will not make any recommendations.

A Serious Man is about a middle aged man who was about to be hit by a series of unfortunate and stressful situations that would make any person go crazy. Shit happens, right? People get divorced all the time, people get into car accidents all the time, if you have kids you know how difficult they can be, these are all very stressful situations, however, they don’t always happen to us all at once. The Coen Brothers thought it would be funny to have all of these situations and even more hair yanking circumstances happen to one Larry Gopnik.

Larry was about to face a complicated divorce. His wife had fallen in love with a family friend and because they were Jewish she also wanted something called a “get”. A “get” is basically a Jewish divorce in accordance with Jewish law and tradition. Larry was also a teacher who was up for tenure, however, things weren’t looking good after a student tried to bribe him for a better grade. Larry decided to speak the boy’s father before taking action, however, this turned out to be an even bigger mistake. The boy’s father threatened to sue Larry for slander if he accused his son of bribery, but also said that he would sue him if he accepted the bribe. Quite a conundrum, don’t you think? To make matters worse, Larry had to worry about his son who was about to go through his Bar Mitzvah and was also stealing from his sister.  She was trying to save up to get a nose job. Larry was not happy to hear about the nose job. To top this off, his brother, Arthur was also living under his roof. Arthur had some medical issues and was also constantly getting into trouble with the law. Larry had a neighbor that kept ruining his lawn, his other neighbor liked to sunbathe in the nude, he couldn’t find a Rabbi to help him with the get, x-rays taken of his chest aren’t very promising, Larry’s wife threw him out of his own house and the one lawyer who had figured out a loop hole in the law to help Larry with his divorce case, keeled over and died. This guy was having a really bad week. If you think this sound really funny, you’d be right. It does sound funny. As awful at it is, you just can’t help but laugh because deep inside you know that it just isn’t possible for anyone to go through so much without picking up a TEC 9 and spraying a few Ben Kelevs.

This must mean that A Serious Man is a great movie. Not so fast! I thought it was going to be a great movie, especially since every film critic loved it. I did not! The movie was so boring! I just don’t know how they found a way to make this great idea so mind numbingly boring. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea to begin with. I don’t know. I just found myself hoping the movie would end soon. However, don’t let the fact that I didn’t like this movie prevent you from watching it. If you are a Coen fan, watch the movie and come to your own conclusion. After all, you could do worse! Plus there were a couple of really funny scenes. Hopefully, you’ll like the movie and not want your money back like another friend of mine. If you’re not a Coen Brothers fan, don’t bother with it.

Surveillance Review


Surveillance was a wacked out, tripped out, badass movie. I think it was totally misunderstood and perhaps underappreciated by the critics. This movie will blow your mind and leave you wondering WTF just happened! Great Film!

My rating 3.5 Stars

Surveillance is the story of a string of violent murders by two mentally disturbed and sadistic killers. The film reminded me a lot of Natural Born Killers, except that it wasn’t as psychedelic and the killers weren’t into leaving any survivors. The killers in this movie were your average, wholesome, God fearing, good Americans, people, except that they really weren’t! Instead they were relentless monsters and it did not matter much if they killed men, women, children or pets. I guess they liked to see people suffer and they enjoyed watching them agonize. Hell, who doesn’t, that is just good family fun!

The story took place in the middle of nowhere, where there was nothing but flat land as far as the eye could see and where the cops were as crooked as my grandmother’s teeth, especially the cops in this story. Police officer Jack Bennett and his partner were less than honest police officers. The two enjoyed a variety of juvenile and idiotic behavior unbecoming to a police officer. They were quite despicable mostly because they had no shame in the things they did. Of all of their repugnant acts my favorite by far was when they hid their police car behind large structures and shot out the tires of passing vehicles. The road they usually patrolled was not very well traveled, so when a car drove by they could afford to be as big jerks as they liked without any danger of being seen. It was like a sport to them.

After the two cops shot out the tires of the vehicle, they would approach the driver and then had the gall to ask them what the problem was. The driver of course had no clue; they thought they just got a flat. The two cops would then make the “obvious” connection that they probably got the flat because they were speeding. Up until that point, the two officers had been acting pleasant, almost human like, but that would soon change. The officers would then ask for the driver’s wallet, not their license, their wallet and they would go back to their patrol cars. They first would make sure that there were no warrants for the drivers and then they would plan out how they were going to terrorize both the driver and the passengers. This is the real reason they would stop people in the first place. It wasn’t because they were speeding; it wasn’t because they had broken the law. They just liked to humiliate and shame people. They did things like pull them out of their cars, yell out offensive remarks, shove a gun in their mouths and other places, dry hump them, lick their faces, make them say humiliating things and many, many more things that I am sure are frowned upon by police standards. They just weren’t very nice cops or nice people for that matter.

Our two upstanding police officers executed this activity several times a day. I guess one can only do the best they can to make light of a stressful situation! However, on that particular day, they stopped a family of four: a father, his wife, a young teen boy and a little girl. The little girl had previously seen something on the road a few miles back and she had tried to tell her parents about it, but they were unable to hear her because the radio had been too loud. When the cop stopped them, after they had practically sexually abused the father, the little girl went to the police car and told them about what she saw. She had seen a blue car and a white van and she noticed blood on the ground and someone being dragged into the van. The two cops realized that they had stopped a blue car earlier. The poor boys would have to do some real police work next!

The two go to investigate the scene, but they were too late, the van was gone, in fact it had passed them on the way there. They saw what the little girl told them, blood everywhere and bullet holes all over the car. It was one of the cars they had stopped earlier. Then they realized that the white van that had passed them was headed towards the family. They immediately turned around and started their pursuit. Once they got there, the carnage began. The two masked perpetrators began killing everyone on the scene without any remorse. When it was all over, there were only three survivors. One of the police officers escaped with serious wounds, but survived. A second car, which I failed to mention earlier, had stopped to help the family change the tire, it included a young man and a young woman, both were as high as a kite, but they turned out to be nice kids, a lot nicer than the cops! The young girl was lucky to escape with her life; her boyfriend wasn’t. Finally, the little girl that had originally reported the incident to the cops managed to hide from the killers and miraculously survived.

Of course, this is not how the movie begins. This is all discovered later after two FBI agents took over the investigation from the local precincts. Since there were police officers involved in the incident, the government sent in the two agents to take over the case and survey the investigation and interrogation, they also didn’t trust the law in that area to handle this correctly.

I shouldn’t say much more, but I will say this; Surveillance is an odd movie full of surprises, action and really good performances. Bill Pullman was outstanding as one of the FBI agents. The critics didn’t care for this movie. They thought it was way too violent for violence sake. That may be so, but regardless of that this is a utterly underrated movie and I think it deserves a chance to be seen at least by those who enjoy this type of genre. The killers are some sadistic freaks that get off on the agony of a stranger’s painful death. I have never seen anything like it and I have never seen an actor show such disturbed emotions and have it feel so real. If I hadn’t known any better, I’d say those actors weren’t acting at all.

In my opinion, this movie is an experience. As you’re watching the film you have some time invested in these characters. You know what to expect from them, you may even grow to like some of them. Then suddenly the carpet is yanked from under you and you have no idea what the hell is going on. Everything happens so fast and you’re left just as assaulted as the people in the movie. This movie was pure genius, but it isn’t for everyone. If this is the type of movie you like, I think you’re going to really enjoy Surveillance.

Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs Review

Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs

Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs should have been named The Dawn of Boredom! I did not like this movie, I was bored to tears. It may make a good toddler sitter though.

My rating 2.5 Stars

Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs, why didn’t this movie make my Do-Not-Watch list? I didn’t have to see this. It is true that I did see the first movie and I enjoyed it, it was cute, but I didn’t see the second part. There was no reason for me to see the third installment of this series. According to my rules, this movie should’ve gone straight to my Do-No-Watch list. It was a legal candidate for it, but the first movie was so cute I thought,”How bad could the third one be?” Did I really think that? What is wrong with me? Have I learned nothing?

Regardless of what I have or haven’t learned, I watched this stupid animated movie. What do you think I thought of it? If you think I liked it, not only would you be wrong, but you may also be in need of a good smacking. If you correctly guessed that I hated it, then my friend, slap yourself on the ass and call yourself Shirley! Because that’s a Bingo! (That was such a good movie…) Sorry, the bingo comment reminded me of a much better movie, Inglorious Basterds, but that has nothing to do with anything. Inglorious was good, Ice Age was trash.

Speaking of trash…the original cast was back in Dawn of the Dinosaurs to bore you out of your flipping mind. This time, it seemed Manny, the mammoth, and his wife were about to pump out a unit any minute.  This wasn’t sitting very well with Diego, the saber tooth cat and Manny’s best friend. I don’t know, maybe he was gay and wanted some homo-lovin’ from Manny. In either case, he was a bit jealous that he was no longer getting the attention he wanted from his friend. Men! (They are all the same no matter if you’re a human or a saber tooth cat.) Diego, (which is a name usually reserved for the Spanish Casanova types, way to go with the names Berg and Wilson,) decided he was going to skip town and find another life for himself. On the way out he ran into Sid, the not so bright sloth, he filled Sid with ideas that Manny was now a family man and would not have time for his friends and urged him to go far away and find a different life for himself like he was about to do. The prospect of losing his buddy Manny made Sid sad, but he did like the idea of being a father, like Manny. He decided he wanted to be one. He went off and found three dinosaur eggs and “adopted” them. Personally, I thought those eggs would make an excellent three-dino-egg omelet, but that’s just me.

Sid became a… father? Cheeses! Let’s just say that he wasn’t a very good father to the unhatched eggs. He only had them for a few hours and he managed to roll them down a cliff. Eventually the eggs hatched into three cute carnivorous baby Tyrannosaurus’, Awww! How cute! The baby Tyrannies immediately took to Sid as their mother. Sid took them everywhere and introduced everyone to his new kids; he even took them to the “kids” park where they began to eat all of the other children. I did chuckle a bit when Sid made one of them spit out a baby hippo and he ended up spitting out the wrong child, he obviously had eaten more than one. Naughty, naughty!

As you might expect, eventually the real Tyranny mommy came through calling. She was quite nice considering Sid kidnapped her three eggs and then he attempted to “protect” his young from the dangerous dino.  Unimpressed with the dumb sloth, the Tyranny quickly grabbed her young and started to walk away, but the young Tyrannies were already attached to Sid and they began to cry, Awwww, HURL! The solution, the Tyranny kidnapped Sid and took him with her.

The rest of the movie is Manny and Diego unite once again to go on a little adventure to save Sid. That’s your plot, nothing less and nothing more. And it is really, really boring. I laughed maybe once or twice, but it was more of a pathetic chuckle than anything else. However, not all is lost. Ice Age was nicely animated I thought they paid special attention to the close-ups of the characters because they were very vivid and extremely well textured; kudos to the animators of this film! As far as who will enjoy this movie, toddlers, young toddlers might find the overly simplistic plot and its juvenile humor entertaining. I don’t recommend adults watch this with their children, there is nothing here for adults. However, I bet it is great for putting a child in front of it and forgetting about him/her for a good hour and a half! Just be forewarned that once the child begins to speak, that may all go down the cliff.

I Hate Valentine’s Day Review

I Hate Valentine's Day

I Hate Valentine’s Day is by far one of the worst movies I have ever had the displeasure of watching. I wish I could go back in time and stop myself from watching this despicable movie.

My rating 0.5 Stars

I Hate Valentine’s Day, God, I hated this movie so much. This is another one of those movies that I thought, maybe…maybe, it was going to be okay because of Nia Vardalos, the maker of My Big Fat Greek Wedding, but as it turns out, Nia is a talentless shrew! I think she just got lucky with Greek Wedding. I actually heard a critic say that this movie was just an excuse to bring both actors from the wonderful Greek Wedding movie back together on the screen and also to show off Nia’s expensive plastic surgery. I really hope that is not true, but that was damn funny!

Very quickly, what is this movie about? Nia played a really, really badly developed character that didn’t believe in relationships. She came from a broken home because of her father’s infidelity which she never forgave. To cope with this life-changing event, she figured out a magical number for dating men so that she could still have a good time dating, but not have it develop into a relationship. That magic number was five dates. She went out with men for five dates, that’s it! And then she terminated the relationship. There were some other rules that she went over with other underdeveloped characters, but they were all really freaking boring and stupid and I refuse to waste valuable finger typing strength on that shit.

She lived with that mantra and she thought she was happy until she met the man of her dreams. Excuse me while I ROTFLMAO! She and the man of her dreams, STUPID!, went out on four dates, or five depending on whom you asked. However, she thought there were only four. So after the “fourth date”, he stopped calling her and practically stopped talking to her. He was just holding up his part of the bargain. He thought they had gone on five dates. This made her angry, because she felt cheated out of the fifth date. In reality she had fallen for him. In reality she was really barfing stupid! Wow! Typing this shit actually made me hate this movie even more. I just realized that no matter how stupid I thought this premise was; it is actually a lot more stupid than what I had originally thought and that makes me what to scream!

I am done talking about this absurd movie. It wasn’t funny, it wasn’t cute, and the performances were horrible. Women, please don’t confuse this movie for a chick-flick either, because it is not, it is an idiot-flick! There are plenty of good chick-flick movies out there that are a billion times more entertaining than this. Seriously, ladies do yourselves a favor and never watch this movie! I wish I hadn’t and I bet you that my wife thought the same.

Did I mention the acting was a joke? I don’t know who the fuck told John Corbett that he could act! Actually, I don’t know who told either of them they could act! They were both terrible. They both make Rodney Dangerfield look like a flipping Shakespearian actor. At least Bobby Dreyfuss was somewhat interesting and mildly amusing in My Life In Ruins, there was nothing remotely interesting or amusing at all about this movie, nothing, not a damn thing. Watching the credits was a lot more exciting, because you could sit through them and realize than none of those people will ever have a serious career in movies after this bowel movement of a movie. The negatives of this film should be piled up neatly in a mound, doused with a gallon of kerosene and set on fire. I vow never to watch another Nia Vardalos movie ever again!

Moon Review


Moon is science fiction at its absolute best.

My rating 4.5 Stars

Science Fiction has a bad rap. Why?  Because Hollywood has been mocking it for years and therefore no one these days takes it seriously. It’s very rare that sci-fi is portrayed in a non-satirical manner. I wish I knew why. This wasn’t always so. A long time ago (no pun intended), sci-fi was a serious genre. Remember shows like Star Trek, Dr. Who and The Twilight Zone? Shows like those were way ahead of their time. If you go back and watch those shows today, you’ll notice something remarkable. A lot of the technology they used in the shows that didn’t exist then, exists today. For example: The Internet, cell phones, touch screen monitors, smart phones, personal computers, holograms, miniaturization, time travel…well maybe not time travel, but everything else in that list is all a major part of people’s lives today. I don’t know where I would be without my IPhone. How I ever lived without that, I’ll never know.

Science Fiction inspires innovation. Sci-fi used to be a goal setter for future scientist, plus it was a hell of a lot of fun to watch. However, when Star Wars came out it ruined everything. Yes, Star Wars ruined Sci-Fi. First of all Star Wars isn’t even sci-fi! It’s a fantasy movie disguised as sci-fi, but because people are more attracted to fantasy than sci-fi (i.e. Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, religion LOL!), Star War became very popular and unfortunately it also became the de facto sci-fi movie, even though it isn’t sci-fi. I’m sorry, but Star Wars as science fiction licks balls! I hate Star Wars and everything that has to do with it for that very reason. And it’s not even that good of a story, have you seen Episode 1, 2, and 3?

To be honest, I am only half teasing Gorge Lucas. I admire and respect him for his work. I don’t actually hate the Star Wars saga, but it does bother me that it gets labeled as sci-fi. It gives science fiction a bad name. Because other than the space travel and a mechanical half man half douche-bag character, Star Wars doesn’t exhibit any science fiction behaviors in the least. Sci-fi is supposed to be serious “what would it be like if” stories. Not about some whiny wannabe Jedi master sock puppets…no offence Mr. Oz! It’s all a joke!

That is until 2009. One can argue that 2009 is a sort of rebirth for the serious sci-fi fan. During that year, we saw the making of four great sci-fi movies: Star Trek, District 9, Avatar, and Moon. Finally, Hollywood has started to make sci-fi movies that celebrate the genre instead of ridiculing it. And that thrills me to no end.

Today, I am reviewing the movie Moon. I know it’s kind of a hokey title, but nevertheless, Moon packs some great sci-fi story telling. The premise of Moon is that an employee of Lunar Industries (a futuristic energy delivery enterprise), Sam Bell (Sam Rockwell) was contracted to extract helium-3 from lunar soil to be used as an alternative and cleaner energy source back on Earth. Sam was alone on the moon station, but he had an A.I. (Artificial Intelligence) robot, GERTY, that kept him company. The contract required that he served three years on the moon monitoring the machines and then exporting the goods back to earth.

Sam was happy working for the company; he had no real complaints. He spent his off hours building models, exercising and watching TV. However, as much he loved his job, he was also looking forward to going home back to his wife and daughter in three weeks time when his contract was over. During his time on the moon, he was not allowed to have real-time contact with his family. Instead, he was allowed video messages to be sent back and forth and he always looks forward to them. The messages lifted his spirits whenever he was down. Poor guy!

GERTY, the robot that kept him company, had been programmed to keep Sam healthy and happy. His job was to monitor Sam’s physical and mental status. Part of Sam’s job was to report any thing out of the ordinary especially if he started having visions which could cause serious repercussions to himself and to the station. This was all monitored very carefully. GERTY was also supposed to report to corporate anything out of the ordinary involving Sam if Sam neglected to report anything. GERTY was quite an astute robot.

However, towards the end of his contract, Sam does started seeing things that weren’t there, but he did not report it. GERTY began to get suspicious, but Sam thought he could handle it especially since his time was almost up and so he continued to do his job. However, while he was out on a routine run to and from the machines, he had another hallucination, but this time it happened while he was driving the moon rover which caused him to lose control of the vehicle and he crashed.

Sam woke up later at the base and GERTY was there at his bed side and explained to him that he had an accident, but that he was going to be okay. Sam was a little shaken up, but it was nothing serious. He was eager to get back to work, but GERTY had been told by corporate not to allow him outside until he was fully recovered; probably for insurance purposes. However, Sam managed to convince GERTY to allow him to go out and do his job and off he went.

Sam left the station on his moon rover, but instead of going to work, he decided to visit the crash site. Maybe he forgot something, who knows. He found the crash site and entered the vehicle, but he noticed that there was someone in the vehicle. This was very odd to him since he was supposed to be alone on the moon. The person seemed unconscious, possibly hurt, so he went to his aid. The person was wearing a space suit and there was moon dust covering his face shield so he couldn’t see who it was. He tried to help the man, but first he wiped the man’s face shield to see who he was helping. Sam was surprised to learn that the man in the rover looked just like him. Was this another hallucination or was there something else going on?

I probably have said too much already. Moon is a great sci-fi movie; it is also a great all around movie. It is like a really good episode of Twilight Zone that keeps unfolding mystery after mystery. Sam Rockwell was excellent in this role and so were the special effects used to make this movie. The story is very sci-fi and unique and I think any real sci-fi fan would love this film. It is an incredible piece of filmmaking from beginning to end; you should definitely not miss out.

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