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Powder Blue Review

Powder Blue

Powder Blue is—for lack of a better word—horrendous! There are better waste-of-time movies out there, find them and skip this ridiculous movie!

My rating 2 Stars

Powder Blue was another one of those Crash style or “hyperlink cinema” movies that have become so popular in the past few years except for one small detail, it was dreadful! If you are unfamiliar with hyperlink cinema I’ll do my best to explain them. In a regular movie you have one or two lead actors with a number of supporting actors. The plot or the story of the movie revolves around the leads so you put all of your attention on just those people. Everyone else around the leads enhance the story that unfolds around them.

In a hyperlink cinema story, you have multiple stories going on at once. It is multilinear and it can get very complicated therefore it may take a lot of work from the audience to keep track of all of the different story lines. Most of the time with these types of stories the writer will choose to converge all of the stories in the end with one huge plot, as if the story were the lead actor and the individual stories were the supporting roles. This isn’t done all the time, but it is the most popular, and in my opinion the most entertaining and interesting style of telling a story. I enjoy this type of storytelling; it can be quite invigorating, if done correctly, and if done incorrectly they can be as torturous for the audience as water boarding. In my opinion Powder Blue was done very poorly with very little story and nothing seemed to tie together. The acting was also just tedious and quite dull.

Powder Blue had a promising beginning, but soon it was obvious the movie wasn’t going to go anywhere, like a plane that crashes just as it takes off. The movie started out with Jack Doheny (Ray Liota) getting out of prison. He had been looking forward to seeing his wife again, but she had died while he was in prison leaving him with nothing to live for. Like any good man whose wife just died, he went to the strip club to find another. That’s just juicy writing!

Next we meet Charlie (Forest Whitaker), he was depressed and wanted to kill himself. He had been a former priest, but after meeting a woman who stole his heart he left the parish to marry her. It was the happiest moment of his life. That is until he got the great idea to film her while he was driving. By the way, you should know that if you begin to film something while driving, you will get into a head on collision. Who does this? Charlie of course felt like God punished him for leaving the parish (in reality it was really nature who was trying to weed out yet another idiot from the gene pool, but failed) and he couldn’t bear the pain of living his life with the awful idea that not only did he lose the woman he loved, but that he was responsible for her death. However, being a man of God he couldn’t kill himself, instead he went around town trying to hire someone who would do him the favor for $50,000. That sounds reasonable to me! He should’ve called Mickey Rourke, he would’ve done it in a minute!

Finally we meet Rose-Johnny (Jessica Biel), not only did she have a stupid name, but she also was the most idiotic character in the film and that is saying a lot, there was a cross-dressing prostitute that was pretty stupid too. Rose (or freaking Johnny) was an exotic aerialist, but not a very good one. Okay, she had the smoking bod, but her most “impressive” act involved pouring hot candle wax over her back. BORING! This girl had problems, she was a tramp, a drug user, a terrible employee, and not a very nice girl overall, but she had fans. In fact she was the main attraction at the club where she worked. Men would flock from all over town to see her “dance”. Hopefully these men were paid a little more than the going rate for extras because it was a coma inducing show!

The whole story took place a few days before Christmas and Rose-Johnny wanted to take the day off to spend it with her son who is in a coma. Perhaps he caught her show! The manager of the club, Patrick Swayze, wanted her working on Christmas day. It’s too bad that my last memory of Patrick is of him playing this pathetic A-Hole! BTW, a Patrick Swayze with eyeliner—not a good look! This was of course the club that Jack Doheny chose to go find a “nice woman” to spend the rest of his free life with and guess who caught his eye, none other than Miss Rose-Johnny! Of course he fell for her, but she couldn’t stand him, she couldn’t stand anyone, especially her clients, she was miserable, her son was in a coma and she had to pour hot wax on herself on Christmas day, her dog has gone missing and she was facing a hospital bill that she had no idea how she was going to pay. I can almost hear the twanging sounds of the country song! Except this wasn’t based in the country, it was based in LA and it is one of the most retarded movies I have ever seen. If this movie were any more retarded, it’d be related to Sarah Palin. Skip this movie entirely, unless you’re an interrogator and need an extremely inhumane way to extract information from your detainee.

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