Home > 2009 Movie Reviews > Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian Review

Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian Review


Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian

There is no reason to watch “Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian (**)” at all. Please, don’t even show this movie to kids, unless you have no aspirations for your child what so ever, do not submit your child to this type of torture.

My rating 2 Stars

When I watched the first Night at the Museum I was expecting the movie to be really cool. After all it is a very neat idea. Museum pieces coming to life! That’s pretty darn awesome! I was trying to imagine all the really interesting characters that might come to life. You could have a whole TV series with this idea. Plus it was Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson who have been very funny in the past. What could go wrong? Seriously, what went wrong here? The movie was just awful! It wasn’t funny at all; it wasn’t interesting; it was as if they made it up as they went through the film production. I wonder did these people even have a script to work with? If they did, it was a boring one and it made me wonder what were these writers smoking when they wrote this. Perhaps they were under pressure from the executives to come up with something, anything and fast. Most likely that is what happened. Shame on those executives!

In either case, I watched the movie. I started with an open mind, big mistake! That didn’t go very well at all. I narrowed my perception to unrealistic. That usually does the trick for me, but it still didn’t work. I went down even further to child thought process, down to toddler, down to single cell organism, nothing worked. The movie was just plain crap! I finally had to switch gears to babbling idiot, but by that time I did that it had been too late; the movie was over and I am not about to watch that movie again, ever! It’s enough that I still have nightmares of this movie coming to life at night and trying to eat me!

However bad the movie was somehow they manage to turn a profit. I smell a rat! No offence to rats of course. Yes, they turned a profit and they made yet a second part to this garbage of a movie. That’s like ordering a shit sandwich and then ordering another one with extra shit. However, I don’t like to prejudge, (did I just hear someone laugh?) I gave the movie the benefit of the doubt. Plus this time it stars Amy Adams and if you have been following my reviews, you know how I feel about her acting. I didn’t think the movie would be good, but I thought it would be at least a little better than the first. (The gods of movie sequels die of laughter!) After all it was based in the Smithsonian! How cool? What could go wrong? Well, wrong happened and it happened often. I started watching this movie on babbling idiot just in case, it is my lowest setting and it still found a way to insult my intelligence. This movie isn’t worth a damn. The only redeeming quality of this movie is Amy Adams as Emilia Earhart. She did a great job with the role as she always does. She was very funny, very entertaining and very sweet. However, as good as Amy is, I don’t think she’s talented enough to carry a movie like that all by herself. It was like ordering a nice, juicy, delicious steak with a heaping dollop of manure while the meat industry is keeping you company telling you all about their business practices.

I suppose there were a few effects that were mildly amusing; however, none of them were that impressive that would excuse such bad story telling. There was one scene where they entered the very famous, black and white, World War II “The Kiss” photo. They filmed the entire scene in black and white and with the feel of the late 1940’s, but it was very short and it did nothing for the story. Just like every other scene in the movie.

There is no reason to watch this at all. Please, don’t even show this movie to kids, unless you have no aspirations for your child what so ever, do not submit your child to this type of torture. Do yourself a favor and never watch this movie, EVER!

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