Home > 2009 Movie Reviews > Friday the 13th Review

Friday the 13th Review


Friday the 13th the "remake". I honestly don't think they know what the word remake means.

Friday the 13th the "remake". I honestly don't think they know what the word remake means.

My rating 0.5 Stars

WARNING Lots of Foul Language is used, click here to get the clean version of this review!

I am not sure how to even start this review. Plain and simple this is by far the worst movie I’ve seen so far in my Review It 2009 project. I will be shocked if I find something worse. I cannot say that I am surprised. I had no expectations for this movie to be any good. I knew it was going to be terrible. So why on earth did I watch it? Because I thought it was going to be a remake of the original, which I saw when I was younger and I even liked it back in the day.

I am sorry, but this is a piece of shit movie. This movie is so fucking awful and I feel cheated out of what felt like an eternity, but in reality was only an hour and a half. There is absolutely no reason to watch this film. None! It was boring, the characters were fucking stupid and each time one of them got killed I was thrilled. I was actually pissed that Jason didn’t take his time dicing them up into little pieces. I was doing a count down to the end of the movie using the bodies. I was so disappointed that two people were left alive. Why am I giving you the ending? Because you shouldn’t see this movie.

I am assuming that you are an intelligent adult. If you are, please never watch this movie. It is not a remake, it is not even close to being a remake of the original. Don’t let those fuckers lie to you like they did to everyone else.

Now if you’re a young kid under the age of 16 and want to sneak in this movie to see some tits and ass and a nice perverted sex scene then by all means go right ahead. The nudity is about the only thing that this fucking movie has going for it.

I just do not understand how they keep making these “movies”. Who watches them? Who actually pays to see this soot? What pisses me off is that it actually made money. This fucking movie made $90 million dollars. I can’t wrap my mind around that. It’s like trying to understand quantum mechanics. I don’t get it! Even the gore was bad, there really wasn’t anything appealing about this movie. I enjoy a good slashing movie as much as the next guy. This movie didn’t even have that. What a waste of goddamn time! To make matters worse, I even thought it was a little racist against Blacks and Asians.

Oh and guess what? This is shocking, this is very shocking! Prepare yourself. Jason lives in the end! That could only mean one thing. They plan to make yet another movie. Hopefully it will be Jason writing apology letters to all of it’s viewers.

You want entertainment, read Roger Ebert’s take on this film. It is hysterical. Thought, I can’t believe that he actually gave it 2 stars out of 4. He must’ve been high when he watched this movie to give it such a high rating. Maybe I should’ve been too.

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Categories: 2009 Movie Reviews
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